Toxic waste bubbles in a ship waiting permission to dock in Odessa. Frank Martin turns down a job in Marseilles, referring it to a pal. A short time later, the pal, wounded by gunfire, crashes his car into Frank's living room and dies, leaving a young woman in the back seat. The employer of the dead man shows up, forces Frank to take the job, snaps a bracelet on his wrist that will explode if Frank gets more than 75 feet from his car, and sends Frank on a journey east with the young woman and a trunk full of something. She's Valentina, nearly mute. Can Frank figure out what's going on, deliver the package, and escape alive? And what does the ship have to do with it?
Frank Martin puts the driving gloves on to deliver Valentina, the kidnapped daughter of a Ukrainian government official, from Marseilles to Odessa on the Black Sea. En route, he has to contend with thugs who want to intercept Valentina's safe delivery and not let his personal feelings get in the way of his dangerous objective.
This is a sequel with no energy and a plot that focuses on all the wrong things. The girl that Frank is stuck with for most of the movie is obnoxious and a frustratingly horrible actress.<br/><br/>This could have been a good movie. I mean, it&#39;s got Frank having to drive a girl around, with an explosive anklet that&#39;ll blast him to smithereens if he&#39;s separated from his car. And she&#39;s the daughter of a politician who&#39;s being blackmailed into signing some document to allow chemical ships to get into the country without a hassle. Oh, and it&#39;s got Robert Knepper, an underrated actor, playing the villain.<br/><br/>Where did it go wrong? Maybe it was the fact this installment didn&#39;t match or surpass the fun ridiculousness of the first two (with the exception of Frank driving his car onto a train–and then THROUGH the train–to get to the bad guy). Or maybe it was the fact that the fight scenes were sped up (they literally fast-forwarded through some of the fights!) and blurry, with too many close-ups for you to tell just what the hell is going on. Oh, and that girl. That girl was terrible.<br/><br/>Some people may enjoy this, but for me, it was a huge disappointment.
The biggest positive about Transporter 3 is that it was made by Europeans, featuring European cars. That black low-slung Audi was well worth the extravagant product placement fee that VW/Audi doubtless paid to the production team. American cars can&#39;t cut it any longer: a Chrysler Crossfire just doesn&#39;t turn anyone on.<br/><br/>Sadly, the picture also involved a Ukrainian/Russian actress who was wildly out of place against the experienced male leads. Her body was a plough-girl&#39;s, the intelligence that she conveyed notably low, and her motivation to get laid once more before she died (and by her abductor!) was preposterous even for this genre. Worst of all, her freckles were so bad that they strayed on to her lips, making her look like a nasty case of oral (and possibly genital) Herpes Simplex.<br/><br/>I have the feeling that Luc Besson is laughing all the way to the bank with these killing-machine pictures, because Hollywood has lost the knack and he has the field to himself.
In a series elevated by high-flying ridiculousness, Transporter 3 falls a couple of sequences short of the standard, but it does show off Statham's considerable dirt-biking skills. For that, at least, it's kinda rad.
The song that sounded like the &#39;Stones&#39; was in actual fact &#39;I Wanna Be Your Dog&#39; by Iggy Pop &amp; The Stooges. &quot;Set It On Fire&quot; by Eve.
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